So here we are...

      Ladies and gents, this would be a sad goodbye point for most people. It does not, however, have to be goodbye. I do hope you all keep in touch. In fact, I will list my contact information with you all just in case any of you wish to get in touch with me.
      I remember when this course began, I was incredibly stressed out. In fact, I would have rated my psychological well-being as only a 6 or 7. This is because I felt as though stress would cause me to literally lose my mind. Fortunately, I have managed to get back in touch with my inner calm. I have managed to do better in this area, and can now rate it at about a 9. It can't be perfect due to a need to work on focus issues. that will get better in time, though.
      My physical well-being rated at a 6 then, as it still does now. As mentioned before, I have dental surgeries to schedule, as well as cardiac exams. By this time next year, I project that it will increase to at least an 8. I'm on top of it, at least.
      Lastly, my spiritual well-being had been rated at a 10. It still is. I stand my ground on this because I have always been one to eventually face my problems head-on. My faith has allowed me to do just that. In fact, it is part of the dogma of Ásatrú to have the courage to admit any wrong doings that you have done, to work past them, and eliminate any issues. Overcoming adversity (even what lies within) leads to Valhalla.
      In regards to the goals that I have set, I can say that I have surpassed what I have set forth in front of me. anger will always be an emotion that everyone endures from time to time, but my anger went from an almost daily thing to barely there anymore. I'm proud of myself for at least that much. There were times when I had to fight back tears to avoid punching a wall because I was so frustrated. (Yes, men can cry! Shush! LOL) Emotion is a big part of my life, and I am a Pisces, after all.
      I have implemented my goals into daily life by deciding first that I was a wreck, and I needed to change. I have known this for years, yet could not fix it until now because therapy is usually expensive. Well, folks, this was unexpectedly my free therapy. By the gods, it worked, too. I feel a huge weight being lifted from me. I scheduled surgery to take care of physical problems, I challenge my creativity daily and weed out distractions to maintain mental health, I talk about my stress and how to handle it, and I always keep my dogma in mind. It has helped so very much.
      Admittedly, the work-load of this class initially scared the hell out of me. I kept my cool and worked through it, though. I have also met some wonderful people, and definitely wish to consider you all friends enough to keep in contact. That being said, my Facebook is Clayton Carter Sosbee, Cma. I'm the ONLY one there is... period.... so I'm easy to find. you can email me at clayton.sosbee@gmail.com or call me at 712-254-9090. I'm here for each and every one of you at anytime you need, even if it's just to talk. Love and light to you all.

Personal Application of the Psychological and Spiritual Aspects of Healing

Introduction

            As human beings, our nature is to somewhat outwardly project whatever we are within. In other words, if we are feeling physically ill, we will most likely show it in our general attitudes. If we feel miserable, we will act miserable. The mind, body, emotions, and spirit are all connected as part of an integral network. If one aspect suffers, so do the others (Dacher, 2006).

            Based on what we have learned regarding integral health and interpersonal relationships, it can be concluded that a bad attitude can carry over to our patients. This, in turn, could make them feel bad/worse as well. If our goal as healthcare providers is to heal, why would we wish to cause more suffering? We do not. Therefore, it only comes naturally that we would want to be healthy ourselves so that we can do the same for our patients.

            Throughout this course, we were asked to evaluate ourselves in different areas during each unit. While some areas are outstanding, others still need some improvement. The good thing is, however, that I have indeed made some significant progress. I am pleased with what I have accomplished thus far.

             My physical health is not very good, mainly due to dental and cardiac issues. Fortunately, I now have medical and dental insurance to cover those. My emotional health could use some minor improvement, and it is mainly due to the pressure of stress. My mental health, on the other hand, is doing quite well. I have managed to re-organize my life and focus much better. My spiritual health, though I follow a different path than most people (Ásatrú, which follows the Norse pantheon), is outstanding. I have never felt better in this aspect.

Assessment

            It is important for us to always know where we stand on each aspect of our holistic health. The idea is to rid one’s self of suffering while promoting healthier choices towards flourishing, to distinguish between the short and long term relief of said suffering, to know what is helping now versus what helps in the long run, to make progress in mind and body growth and development, to have an open mind and loving heart, and to follow and identify that which helps us grow in our flourishing and what does not (Dacher, 2006).  Once we realize where we stand in our integral health, we can then look back and see exactly what changes were made and why. From there, we can make far better choices in our lives.

            When it comes to my physical health, I would rate it at around 6 out of 10. This is because there needs to be more exercise time, a better look needs to be made at my cardiac health, and some surgery needs to be done. However, it is slowly improving. Once I get a few things taken care of and exercise more, things will be much better.

            My emotional health rates at around 7 out of 10. This is because I have been battling depression and self-esteem issues for years. Fortunately, this course has helped greatly with working on that issue. I had been through so much in my life, and I am beginning to learn to just let it go.

            My mental health rates at around 9 out of 10. I can almost always think clearly, effectively, quickly, and deeply. However, I need to work more on my focus issues. Distractions and lack of good sleep seem to contribute to this. My determination, on the other hand, helps me achieve my goals.

            My best area is in regards to my spiritual health. I would rate this aspect at 10 out of 10. I have no issues here. I am deeply involved in my spirituality. It usually comes at an unexpected, yet pleasant surprise to hear that I have actually inspired others with it. I generally practice unconditional kindness towards all living things regardless of any differences. I was raised as such. Diversity, after all, makes us who we are.

Goal Development

            In order to advance further in integral health development, it is crucial for us to set goals for improvement. It does not matter whether these goals are short-term or long-term so long as they ultimately aid in the improvement of our lives. Keeping that in mind, I have set forth various goals in each individual aspect of my integral health.

            Regarding my physical health, there is plenty that I want to accomplish. One of the most important goals in this aspect is that I am planning for 2 dental surgeries to be divided up between this summer and late winter. I am having all 4 wisdom teeth, my upper front 8 teeth, and another impacted tooth on the lower right side. I will also have a partial installed to replace the upper front 8 teeth. These surgeries will greatly improve my appearance and aid in landing me a Certified Medical Assistant job in a clinic or hospital.

            When I take a look at my emotional health, I realize that it also could use improvement. I had suffered from chronic depression for a very long time, and one of my main goals regarding my emotions is to find inner peace. Fortunately, meditations have greatly helped with this aspect. I am gaining my confidence back, and I am doing quite well with my self-esteem now.

            My mental health seems to be doing quite well. I have always been extremely intelligent, and I always do things to challenge my mind. However, there is the issue of a lack of focus from time to time. I would like very much to resolve this. Therefore, my goal here is to strengthen my focus by reducing my distractions and practicing the Subtle Mind meditation more often. I think that by meditating every day, I can relax and ease my mind enough to accomplish almost any goal that I set in front of me.

            I am truly amazed with my spiritual health. As mentioned before, I follow the Norse path known as Ásatrú. It has taught me not only to be true to myself, but to others as well. I spend plenty of time devoting my attention to it. However, I also am an ordained druid as well as a Native American spiritualist. My largest goal on the spiritual aspect is a two-fold achievement. I wish to not only finish my rune set, but to acquire a Cherokee wood flute. I consider myself to be eclectic. However, if I absolutely had to label what I am, I would call myself a magus (a type of pagan spiritualist that utilizes magickal energy from many cultures and influences rather than choosing a single style of practice).

Practices for Personal Health

            I would have to say that my success thus far has been accredited to the adjustment of my everyday life into a few new practices. These practices have made a profound change in my life thus far, and I can indeed say that I have ultimately become much happier.

            In the realm of physical improvement, I am eating much better. I have meals that are no longer rushed. The portions are healthy and plentiful. This will help me gain some weight and allow me to maintain good health. I have also made the decision to begin an exercise regimen that consists of push-ups, sit-ups, running, and martial arts katas (Tomiki aikido, Muay Thai kickboxing, a style of Bujinkan ninjitsu called To-shin-do, Gracie jiu-jitsu, and a style of samurai sword fighting called iaijutsu). I am also meditating more to help with my cardiac health.

            When it comes to my emotional health, it has helped to take a step back sometimes and re-evaluate things. I take a slow, deep breath and remember the Loving Kindness meditation. I then ask myself, “Is it really worth it to get so worked up about this?” If the answer is, “No.”, I would then get away from the situation or try a better approach at resolving the stressful events.

Once I make it back home, I immediately meditate. This alone takes a huge weight off of my shoulders. In addition, I ponder ways to resolve the situation better should it arise again.

            Regarding my mental health, I keep my mind constantly going with every moment that I am awake. I enjoy challenging myself with puzzle games, riddles, etc. to promote good mental acuity. In order to maintain this, I not only read quite a bit (with fantasy novels being my favorite), I build plenty of model kits. In order to challenge my imagination, I almost never build any kit exactly as you would see it on the box. I tend to come up with something completely original and personal. The plethora of different colors and custom options tends to create a rather eye-pleasing palette, too.

            Finally, there is my spiritual health. This has been one of my favorite areas to discuss so far. This area has grown tremendously over the past few years. I actually have a daily routine for my spiritual practices. I meditate whether I feel the need to or not, I use some form of divination (whether it be a crystal, tea leaf reading, or tarot), and say a prayer to Odin and the other gods to guide me. In addition, I also make sure to honor my ancestors.

           

Commitment

                I feel that regardless of my progress, it is important to keep track of future efforts for the purpose of maintaining my integral health. Although the goal of integral health is wholeness, the concept lie in one’s potential (Schlitz, 2005). What this means is that it is not automatically granted. We have to work for it. Therefore, I will monitor my progress weekly for the next six months. At the end of those six months, I will evaluate any progress. I will write down the areas that have improved along with the areas that need improvement. The results will be highly useful for personal growth. In order to maintain this growth, I will write mini-schedules on my calendar so that I do not forget. It has been a pleasure and a blessing to work with everyone in this course. Hailsá and Namasté to you all!

                                                           References

Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic   

       Health Publications, Inc.

Schlitz, M., Amorok, T., & Micozzi. M. (2005). Consciousness and healing: Integral    

       approaches to mind body medicine. St. Louis, MO: Elsevier Churchill Livingstone.

After contemplating on it for a few hours, I would have to say that the 2 most beneficial exercises for me were "Meeting Aesclepius" and "Subtle Mind". This is largely because I have spent so many years with low self esteem, and these taught me how to begin to accept myself. I spent my childhood being rather traumatized, and my mental and emotional stability took a huge blow because of it. I remember how horrible of a man my biological father was. (We won't go into that. Let's just say he was an incredibly mentally sick man.) I remember the beating that I endured during my mother's 2nd marriage. (Fortunately, he is long gone.) I also remember the loss of my mother's last marriage. (He was very dear to me, and the only one worthy of being called Daddy. He passed away in 2006 after being married to my mother for 15 years. He was an outstanding man.) I also remember being constantly picked on in school. These exercises have finally given me the chance to let go of everything up to this point, and to accept myself for who I am. i made the choice to become a good man. This course was the best spiritual, emotional, and mental decision that I have ever made.

For this week, the journal meditation exercise was "Meeting Aesclepius". I must say that this one really had a profound effect on me. I lit some white sage just before beginning, because my chosen person was none other than my greatest mentor, Grandmother Morning Star. The rushed flow of water from a waterfall described in this exercise remind me of all the troubles, worries, stress, and doubt in my life. It is also representative of my biggest issue ever--misplaced anger. Yes, it took me awhile to admit. I was a generally depressed and angry person for the majority of my life. Grandmother (as we call our Native American female elders) had taught me better than this! once again, though, I could hear her final words echoing in me from the spirit realm. "Storm Crow, anger never gets you anywhere, boy! Neither does doubt! Stop trying to make me and everyone else proud! We already are. Easy, kiddo. You're going to be fine. Take care of Grey Coyote, and listen to him (She was referring to my friend, Mike). Keep on the path. You're almost there. We'll be at the sacred fire in the end, I promise. Hang in there." That's when it hit me. While she had been the calming river for so long, I had to reach the calm and peaceful ocean on my own now. How was I to accomplish this? I pondered a bit longer. Quite often my anger is caused by nothing more than a lack of patience. Trivial matters often bring hasty results if one is not careful. She wanted me to let go of all the anger and fear, and so I shall. The calmness of that ocean is drawing closer. The saying, "One cannot lead where one has not gone himself." (p 477) pretty much means exactly why Grandmother is so important. She's been there and done that. She had always spoken from personal experience. She will be missed and her legacy will live on through my colleagues and I.

This week, we learned about the Loving Kindness meditation technique. It centers around the concept of love and tenderness towards others. In a way, I feel that it resembles the concept behind Christianity's ''Golden Rule''. In other words, you get out of life entirely what you put into it. If you treat others with love and tenderness, you usually get it in turn. We did an assessment on ourselves to identify the source of any suffering that we may have. I suffer greatly in the psychospiritual realm because I think that I doubt myself far more than I really should at times. I'm slowly getting better at this, but I need to work particularly on my self-esteem. It has almost crippled me for most of my life, and I need to change my outlook for the better. I also need to work more on my interpersonal skills because I need to work on my patience, my tolerance of others, and my temper. in time, I can see myself being far better towards others.

Subtle mind vs Loving Kindness

Both of these exercises involve deep breathing meditation techniques designed to calm the mind and to reduce stress. The Subtle Mind exercise focuses primarily on yourself, while Loving Kindness focuses on feeling empathy and compassion. I feel that both are necessary for the success of this journey. Admittedly, it took me a bit to attune myself for the Loving Kindness exercise, but I am glad that I did. I am calmer now, with a better sense of self and how to deal with the life experience around me. I feel better and more confident. The suffocation has subsided. I can think a bit easier now. It is important to establish a healthy mind and body connection because they go hand-in-hand. when you feel good physically, you feel good mentally, and vice versa. Practice these two techniques often, for the rewards are certainly beneficial. Namaste' and Hailsa!

 This week, I practiced an exercise called Loving Kindness. It opened my eyes just a bit further than I realized. I closed my eyes and listened to the waves that accompanied the track. It was quite possibly the most relaxed that I have ever been. Compassion and empathy are an important focus within our mission as healers. However, they are not limited to what is around us. They begin with. We must love ourselves first and foremost. when we love ourselves, we can then love others. I recommend this to others.
    Mental workout means that you train the mind in order to be able to think and function more clearly in the future. This is important because it allows you to develop enhanced motor skills and to process decisions more rapidly. It also keeps you from losing memory as you grow older.
    The main idea that i got from this exercise is to practice compassion inside and outside. Let the love spread all around. Keep your mind feeling at ease, and spread that joy to others. Keep active. Your mind will certainly thank you for it later. :) Namaste' and Hailsa!