For this week, the journal meditation exercise was "Meeting Aesclepius". I must say that this one really had a profound effect on me. I lit some white sage just before beginning, because my chosen person was none other than my greatest mentor, Grandmother Morning Star. The rushed flow of water from a waterfall described in this exercise remind me of all the troubles, worries, stress, and doubt in my life. It is also representative of my biggest issue ever--misplaced anger. Yes, it took me awhile to admit. I was a generally depressed and angry person for the majority of my life. Grandmother (as we call our Native American female elders) had taught me better than this! once again, though, I could hear her final words echoing in me from the spirit realm. "Storm Crow, anger never gets you anywhere, boy! Neither does doubt! Stop trying to make me and everyone else proud! We already are. Easy, kiddo. You're going to be fine. Take care of Grey Coyote, and listen to him (She was referring to my friend, Mike). Keep on the path. You're almost there. We'll be at the sacred fire in the end, I promise. Hang in there." That's when it hit me. While she had been the calming river for so long, I had to reach the calm and peaceful ocean on my own now. How was I to accomplish this? I pondered a bit longer. Quite often my anger is caused by nothing more than a lack of patience. Trivial matters often bring hasty results if one is not careful. She wanted me to let go of all the anger and fear, and so I shall. The calmness of that ocean is drawing closer. The saying, "One cannot lead where one has not gone himself." (p 477) pretty much means exactly why Grandmother is so important. She's been there and done that. She had always spoken from personal experience. She will be missed and her legacy will live on through my colleagues and I.